This post, intended
For the Yanks. Instead, please join
Me in a welcome.
The mini coke can!
If heaven has a mini
Bar, these are in it.
Image source: Slate.com
Read: Is the Coke Mini Can the New Light Cigarette?
Read and weep: Angels Jolt Yankees with Walk-Off
John Cornyn, R-Texas
We now all agree
Judges channel the Framers
Empathy is toast
Dick Durbin, D-Ill.
Guys ‘n’ gals differ
It’s not that one is biased
We just come that way
Amy Klobuchar, D-Minn.
A prosecutor
Badass on white collar crime
Tough chick. Just like me.
Arlen Specter, D-Pa.
Ethnic pride is good
But this is not me crying
It’s just the chemo
(courtesy of Dahlia Lithwick/Slate!)
Read more: 306 Syllables on Sotomayor
Image source: Pundit Kitchen
New forms new beauty
Dance each instant as it comes
We will miss you, Merce
(courtesy of anthony!)
Read: Merce Cunningham, Choregrapher, Dies at 90
Enjoy: Anthony Roth Costanzo
Image source: Ballet Dance Magazine
bankruptcy is funny!
Son’s got gambling debt
Statutory spendthrift rule
You’ve just saved his trust
(courtesy of nelly!)
Learn: Bankruptcy in the United States
Image source: Houston’s Clear Thinkers
we're fine with this Will, too
I am very poor
Can you die so I can get
My intestate share
(courtesy of nelly!)
Read: Aspiring Lawyer Finds Debt Is Bigger Hurdle than Bar Exam
Learn: Intestacy
wimbledon junior prom
Talk about sibling
Rivalry. An all-sister
Act at Wimbledon.
Read: It’s Another All-Williams Final at Wimbledon
Image source: StyleFrizz
A star for Cammy
Proof that gilded concrete goes
To highest bidders
(courtesy of liz!)
Read/Image source: Cameron Diaz Gets Star on Hollywood Blvd Walk of Fame
I hope you're going to clean that up
Another Tiger
Comeback, from 4 down. I crown
Him Mr. Sunday.
Read: Tiger Woods Strikes from 4 Back to Win the Memorial Title
Image source: AP, via TopHatAli
nice segway
Classic Dick Vader
And torture for viewers. Time
For retirement.
Read: Dick Cheney’s Dishonest Speech about Torture, Terror, and Obama; Barack Obama’s National Security Speech
Image source: US News
they're baaaack
For Momma T-Lake:
The second best idea your
Son has ever had.Watch: SNL digital short
Image source: Justin Timberlake
What will poor Stan do?
No Petrillo women left.
The putz stands alone.
Dorothy, we missed
Dear maaaa, but without you, will
We ever laugh of Brooklyn?
(courtesy of liz!)
Read: Golden Girls Star Beatrice Arthur Dies
Image source: LA Times
a special lace collar for a special birthday boy
Happy birthday-ish!
Good luck with the four hundred
Forty-five candles.
Read: 5 Ways to Celebrate Shakespeare’s Birthday
Visit: Shakespeare’s Birthday Open House
Image source: Austin Shakespeare
Spotty danger lurks
At jiffy lube, pot belly
And southwest Safeway.
Read: Details Released in Measles Outbreak
Image source: Blacktriangle
most likely he used the random stump speech generator
Vivid responsive
Valued votes worry, arrows
Succeed, prospects set
Success fades, humble
Laws aiding faction leaning
Liberal uphill
Strictly wishing safe
Conservative Pentagon
Vanishes, unborn
(courtesy of the Random Stump Speech Synopsis Haiku Generator!)
Play: RSSSHG
Image source: Stump Speech, by George Caleb Bingham
the all alone star state?
Secession, Texas,
Really? Really? That’s just so
1861.
Read: Texas Governor Says Secession’s Possible
Image source: Texas Secede
shrink wrap
Ice caps and crème eggs
Are shrinking. Woe is me, and
To the polar bears.
Read: They’re Shrinking Our Cadbury Crème Eggs and Denying it
Image source: Candy Snob
before the crazy set in
Forgive me, Braveheart,
If I don’t shed too many
Tears for your divorce.
Read: Mel Gibson’s Wife Files for Divorce
Image source: Hit da wall
gives new meaning to the word "court"
In a crushing blow
Biglaw lawyers cruise the globe
At twice what I’m paid.
(courtesy of nelly!)
Read: $80,000 for a Year Off? She’ll Take It!
Image source: Flickr
Millionaires can afford to
Live in Manhattan.
Read: As Some U.S. Markets Level Off, Housing Slump Hits Manhattan
Image Source: Wikimedia
big country, enormous ballot
It’s Election Day!
Third largest democracy,
But first in our hearts.
Read: Elections 2009 The Jakarta Post
Image source: Indonesian Election 2009
Happy Opening
Day! I forgive you, C.C.
Its only April.
Read: Orioles 10, Yankees 5
Image source: The Green Cutting Board
uhh...not that arnold
He putts and pauses.
Collective gasp, fist pump, cheer.
And, Tiger is back!
Read: The Live Report - Arnold Palmer Invitational
Image source: Access Hollywood
moderately joyous
Oh SoyJoy ads, how
You have deceived me. Less Joy
Than I might have hoped.
Some people who agree with me, emphatically: Food Product Review
Image source: PRNews
just another day on the job
The leader of the
Free world gets out more than me*.
How mortifying.
*Please excuse my poor
Grammar. Sometimes art requires
Small sacrifices.
Read: Could it Really Be Him? Yeah, Probably
Image source: Red State, Blue State
bemused ducks
Doubt licks blearily
Seagull quivers, bragging crags
Raining lilypads
Bemused duck cursing
Raging, clamoring, rudely
Harmonious kind
(courtesy of the Genuine Haiku Generator!)
Check out: The Genuine Haiku Generator
Image source: Domain Barnyard
Thank you, New York Times.
Now I can rationalize
My candy habit.
Savings sour, the sweets
Still sweet. Who needs a mortgage
When there’s Gummy Bears?
Read: When Economy Sours, a Tootsie Roll can still Soothe the Soul
Image source: Shape and Colour
just as good as my method
So – random numbers
And jersey colors do not
A good bracket make.
*see mad men
Image source: InterchangeableParts
also not the president
At the white house, a
New good reader. The crowd laughs,
But someone’s fired….right?
Read: Podium Pundits – The Luck of the Irish
Read this, too: Speaking Obama with an Irish Lilt
Image source: Irish Blogs
excel made me do it
Brackets: what’s a girl
To do? Choose the top seed or
The cutest point guard?
Read: The Case for Hoopsteria
In the shadow of
The Capitol, a scourge takes
Its toll on DC.
Read: D.C. HIV/AIDS Rates Top “Generalized and Severe” Levels
Image source: Delaney Jean’s Photostream (Flickr)
The mad man and the
Funny man duel. Glissade, feint…
Stewart, the winner!
Is it comedy
Or tragedy? It’s just so
Hard to tell, these days.
Image source: The Globe and Mail
Watch : Extended Daily Show Interview
“President Barack Obama doesn’t go anywhere without his TelePrompter. The textbook-sized panes of glass holding the president’s prepared remarks follow him wherever he speaks.”
Politico, 5 March 2009
…When the worst thing they
Say about Obama is
That he reads too well.
Read: Obama’s Safety Net – The Teleprompter
“The hip issue is not thought to be related to the use of performance-enhancing substances.”
The New York Times, 8 March 2009
A-Rod news slides to
Third base. Madge madness, ‘roid rage,
A hip issue, too.
Read: Surgery Will Keep Alex Rodriguez Out Until May
Image source: Baltimore Sun
Happy birthday, B.
Doll. I hope I look like you
when I am fifty.
Read: Barbie to Get a Face Lift on her 50th Birthday
Image source: Apartment Therapy Los Angeles
a travesty
Note from Pacey: My
grandmother called and she wants
her tablecloth back.
Image source: Go Fug Yourself
White (yellow) is the
Ground in March. White (pink)
One more month away.
