senate laureate

Dianne Feinstein, D-Calif.
What Sonia has done
Is so very impressive
So I am impressed

John Cornyn, R-Texas
We now all agree
Judges channel the Framers
Empathy is toast
 
Dick Durbin, D-Ill.
Guys ‘n’ gals differ
It’s not that one is biased
We just come that way

Amy Klobuchar, D-Minn.
A prosecutor
Badass on white collar crime
Tough chick. Just like me.

Arlen Specter, D-Pa.
Ethnic pride is good
But this is not me crying
It’s just the chemo

(courtesy of Dahlia Lithwick/Slate!)

 
Read more: 306 Syllables on Sotomayor
Image source: Pundit Kitchen

let us be merce-ful as well as just

New forms new beauty
Dance each instant as it comes
We will miss you, Merce

 
(courtesy of anthony!)

Read: Merce Cunningham, Choregrapher, Dies at 90
Enjoy: Anthony Roth Costanzo
Image source: Ballet Dance Magazine

Ode to the Bar Exam, Part Deux

bankruptcy is funny!

Son’s got gambling debt
Statutory spendthrift rule
You’ve just saved his trust
 
(courtesy of nelly!)

Learn: Bankruptcy in the United States
Image source: Houston’s Clear Thinkers

Ode to the Bar Exam

we're fine with this Will, too

I am very poor
Can you die so I can get
My intestate share
 
(courtesy of nelly!)

Read: Aspiring Lawyer Finds Debt Is Bigger Hurdle than Bar Exam
Learn: Intestacy

there’s something about cammy

A star for Cammy
Proof that gilded concrete goes
To highest bidders

(courtesy of liz!)

Read/Image source: Cameron Diaz Gets Star on Hollywood Blvd Walk of Fame

and then there was maude

What will poor Stan do?

No Petrillo women left.

The putz stands alone.

 

Dorothy, we missed

Dear maaaa, but without you, will

We ever laugh of Brooklyn?

 

(courtesy of liz!)

 

Read: Golden Girls Star Beatrice Arthur Dies

Image source: LA Times

on the campaign trail

most likely he used the random stump speech generator

Vivid responsive
Valued votes worry, arrows
Succeed, prospects set

 

Success fades, humble
Laws aiding faction leaning
Liberal uphill

 

Strictly wishing safe
Conservative Pentagon
Vanishes, unborn

 

 

(courtesy of the Random Stump Speech Synopsis Haiku Generator!)

 

Play: RSSSHG

Image source: Stump Speech, by George Caleb Bingham

one third the pay, three times the fun!

gives new meaning to the word "court"

 

In a crushing blow

Biglaw lawyers cruise the globe

At twice what I’m paid.

 

 

(courtesy of nelly!)

 

Read: $80,000 for a Year Off? She’ll Take It!

Image source: Flickr

almost as good as mine?

bemused ducks

Doubt licks blearily
Seagull quivers, bragging crags
Raining lilypads

 

Bemused duck cursing
Raging, clamoring, rudely
Harmonious kind

 

 

(courtesy of the Genuine Haiku Generator!)

 

Check out: The Genuine Haiku Generator

Image source: Domain Barnyard

Funny, she doesn’t look like a Druish princess

they love haikus, too

In the ice sculpture
reflected bar mitzvah guests
nosh on chopped liver.

 

The sparkling blue sea
beckons me to wait one hour
after my sandwich.

 

Is one Nobel Prize
so much to ask from a child
after all I’ve done?

 

How soft the petals
of the flower arrangement
I have just stolen.

 

 

(courtesy of David M. Bader!)

 

Buy: Haikus for Jews – For You, a Little Wisdom

Image source: bang it out

30 seconds to greasy

oh, the humanity

J. Catalano
Your comb-over makes me sad.
Dude, why so greasy?

You were so dreamy.
Somewhere, Angela Chase is
Totally appalled.

So you’re in a band.
Some rock stars are very hot.
Resolve to bathe, ‘kay?

Don’t you understand?
Your hotness is, like, a gift.
Wasting it is rude.

(courtesy of the Fug Girls!)

Read: GoFugYourself

Veep, veep!

better in chalk

Dear Sarah Palin

When Gwen asks you a question

Don’t call her sexist

 

You will just look dumb

On second thought, have at it

It might get a laugh

 

(courtesy of andy michaels!)

 

 

Image source: Tacoma Urbanist

Supremes to DC: Handguns for everyone!

 

 

 

Justice Scalia,
Can you help? I can’t decide:
Glock or Beretta?

 

 

(courtesy of patrick cyrus gilman)

Musings on rice

One whole paddy field

Was planted ere I moved on

From that willow tree!

 

(courtesy of Basho, 17^th century Japanese poet)

A tomato rebuttal

lycopene test tube

 

don’t impugn my friend
the tomato! lycopene
helps prevent cancer!

 

 

(courtesy of patrick cyrus gilman)

 

A Very Curmudgeonly Response to Pop Culture’s Slavering Annual Kowtow to Steve Jobs

iCon, Steve Jobs

 

iWhat’s iNext for
iProphet iSteve? iThe
iHeadlines iRead:

“Jobs Ends Warming Woes:
Will Power Globe with Surplus
Self-Satisfaction”

 

 

(courtesy of patrick cyrus gilman)

Mercury rising

DC, mercury

Rising. Air hanging heavy,

Heat index one-ten.

 

Sensible creatures

Shed their coats, gape as men melt –

Puddles in pinstripes.

 

 

(courtesy of patrick cyrus gilman)

A moment on the trail

Senator Clinton

She slips, pricks herself.
Bobby: small wound, no blood. Still,
eyes in the dark. Wolves!

(courtesy of patrick cyrus gilman)

Read: How Small Stories become Big News

Strategery

el jefe

Deficits blossom,
a tree of debtors’ flowers
with no future seeds.

Shrub unites us all
Could never ever divide
Division too hard.

I own senate and
house of reprehensibles
how? strategery!

If all you have is
ignorance and confidence,
then success is sure.

If films fail, we know
not to see the sequel. Why
not so with leaders?

(courtesy of Irregular Times: Haiku page)

The kung pao chicken

Kung pao chicken

The kung pao chicken

I like the kung pao chicken 

The kung pao chicken

(eddie joy, courtesy of patrick cyrus gilman)